The 10 reasons I love Pakistan are not about the food, though the food is tempting. The food ostensibly was meant for kings and queens who die at 45 after producing the next generation. The real reasons I love Pakistan are as follows:
- Hardly anyone thinks. This actually makes life simple. You nod at the right places, you use a few arabic words ‘jazakalla’, ‘alhamdullilah’, ‘shukr allah,’ and ‘allah’, and that’s it you are now part of the group.
- Hand made glass bangles. Pakistan makes the most beautiful traditional, hand thrown glass bangles still. Glass bangles are a rarity in the region but you can still find them in Pakistan. The old artisans pass on this knowledge down generations. Those same people are treated as lesser people by those people who don’t do much work but control all the resources. Glass bangles tinkle and blink in the light. To me they are the quintessential symbol of femininity and a sign of the endurance and sheer tenacity of a woman’s strength.
- Henna. Pakistani is a girly girl place. Even though the feminine is loved, but not respected, girls tend to bond together. Which means that girls get together to have a ton of fun! I have photos hanging out with the most fun and good girls you will ever meet. Of course their parents were very careful that I don’t make the girls think, and my opinions–which were left off liberal my whole life, didn’t affect anyone.
- Cats. Pakistani cats are active, ferral creatures who know how to survive. When given a bit of love and food, they grow into extremely intelligent and loyal friends. Those cats are awesome.
- Men. You see a lot more men in Pakistan than anywhere else. If you like men, go to Pakistan. Pakistan is a land for men. The leaders are men, the business men are men, the politicians are men and the few women in any position, are an anomaly. A woman’s life is dependent on the men. Nice rich man, nice life, not so nice men, not so nice life. On her own a woman is unthinkable as the spiritual teachers will often tell you freedom of women is a sign of judgement day, westernization and the terrible curse of Allah–in fact one maulvi went so far as to say that Allah just doesn’t like women….and he wasn’t taken off the air. As long as someone says the word allah, and grows a thick beard or wears a hijab, he or she can get away with ANYTHING. Here’s a tip for the US CIA. If the CIA wants to take over Pakistan, please send a spiritual teacher down who is partial to your interests. Don’t tell anyone I told you. Oops maybe you already do that?? you never know these days, but dang it, the Pakistanis like I said earlier, don’t think, so they can be manipulated CONSTANTLY.
- Family. Generally, there has to be some kind of man attached to a woman’s identity. Otherwise she is vulnerable and under constant threat of being considered a ‘bad’ person. Fortunately, the men are nice. err. very nice. You get the picture? I sing odes of appreciation for the lovely lovely men in my family….I pray for their long life. Its about survival, status and respect. Its not that women don’t provide or sacrifice their lives for the kids, but they do it, under a stigma of being divorcee’s, separated or widowed. In other words, it isn’t cool that they are courageous and strong, but a social ‘lack’, like a slight limp.
- Generosity. People give a lot. The richer you are, the more food and gifts they give you. Of course if you are poor, they don’t care as much. In fact they want you to work 12-16 hours a day and eat less than them. So, if you have some money you can have more money easily, than if you have no money. Its kind of cushy if you are born on the right side of the money divide.
- Youth and Children are very smart. Pakistan is one of the few countries in the world where 50% of the population is below 25. This means that you feel very old:) if you are older than 25. On the other hand, the under 25 crowd rocks. My best and most interesting conversations are with the under 30 people. These guys know how to navigate Pakistan and still have fun. Hats off to the ingenuous and interesting youth, who have figured it out! they respect their parents, but do their own thing! far better than our generation, who sacrificed their lives to please their parents and still feel we didn’t do enough along with the angst of never quite living our own life.
- Friends care. Pakistani friends are loyal and incredible people who will care enough to tell you when they think you aren’t doing the right thing. You may not agree with their choices and you may be angry when they butt into your personal opinions, but heck you can’t deny that they care enough to speak up. So much so that they bring you down, while trying to fix you, but that’s another story. Then there are those friends who reach out despite the difference in our political and ideological thought, and care. They take my breath away, because just when I think I am destined to fight my whole life alone against injustice and for my pains to be told there is something wrong with me, there is a hand on my shoulder, appreciative comments, agreement and support.
- Parents. Parents sacrifice themselves for you. They live through you. They make you their most important investment. Your life is their problem. Sometimes they never sever that cord and kids don’t either. Its strange, but beautiful at the same time, that human beings could get so attached to each other. But, heck, when I got broken, they were there to pick up the pieces, take care of my child and tell me, We Love You and Believe in You. I don’t ever feel that I deserved the mother and father I have, but its the grace of that invisible force.
Somebody could say, heck that sounds like pan flavoured hell. Yes. It is. It was. It is unforgettable, like living dostoevesky or anton chekov in real time.
Pakistan is the name of a place of pain. Its my homeland. Its my sorrow, it is my identity. And in case you think this is about you–because you also happened to grow up in Pakistan, it’s not, never was, and never will be. Its my story. It’s my Pakistan and I will remember it the way I feel it, a crack in my heart with a golden light. I can’t remember it in your ways. For me it is not ALLAH HAFIZ, it is KHUDA HAFIZ. For me it isn’t the dupatta over my head, but the glass bangles on my hand that are Pakistaniyat. Yes, I know people took the religion and the bull shit of its demented ‘spiritual’ teachers, and made it your identity. Me, I didn’t do any of that. My love is direct, not through a fake made up identity. It is for the land, the water and the people. I am ok with its colonial history, I love it in fact. I am ok with its Hindu past, I love it, in fact. I am in fact ok with most of it, except its fake morality.
Happy Birthday, my Pakistan.
Cheers
Saima
Behind The Veil 