new entries for my in progress dictionary of ENGDU *(English in Urdu)
January 2021
1. Conservative in Pakistan means someone who hates to see women enjoying themselves, believes a woman should be seen rarely in public if ever and if so, she should be wrapped in fabric but certainly never heard, unless she wants inappropriate attention from men. Conservatives believe that family service is the most important duty of a woman. Conservative also means someone who wants to control women. Women don’t have feelings or even if they do, their feelings don’t matter to conservatives. There are far more conservatives than liberals in Pakistan. If you ever want to check you can try taking out a woman’s rally with actual women in it. Even though conservatives don’t actually believe their own b/s, they want everyone else to believe it, due to which they will go to great lengths to waste everyone’s time. You know you are speaking with a conservative when after 5 minutes you feel embarrassed about being a woman.
2. Conservative in USA means someone who wants to make money for themselves and not have to share with anyone else. Conservatives don’t believe that brown people are equal to white people and want to make sure that white people marry and have lots of babies and continue to have privilege in society.
3. Liberal or secular in Pakistan means an immoral person who risks going to hell. Liberals speak English, act superior and shop a lot. They are also referred as ‘elite’, which basically means that they wear jeans and t-shirts and make fun of anyone who doesn’t speak English the way they do. Liberals may or may not enjoy ENGDU, because many liberals are secretly conservative, and go around getting upset about colonialism, while speaking and writing in English.
4. Liberal in USA means people who believe in free enterprise, equal opportunity for all genders and races as well as high income and low taxes. Liberals are generally hypocrites, because they want to make a lot of money and save the environment, but not actually do anything about it, but blame the conservatives for not doing anything about it.
5. Socialist in Pakistan means somebody who was jailed or persecuted for thinking or writing about justice.
6. Socialist in USA means a lazy bum who wants to avoid work and live off the state.
7. Woman in Pakistan means dependent.
8. Woman in USA means worker.
9. Success for a man in Pakistan is a huge network.
10. Success for a woman in Pakistan is to be the wife of a rich and well connected man, have enough money to avoid working, except for a few social media pictures with make up 2-3 shades lighter than her actual skin colour, nice holidays and the chance to do some social work.
11. Hypocrisy, n. Hypocrite. A type of lying, where you pretend that you are what you are not. Nobody really believes you, it just helps to save face on social media and ensure that the people you live with, don’t leave you. Extremely important survival mechanism.
Behind The Veil 