I watched the carefully orchestrated clips of Megan and her Prince on Oprah’s show. Fast forward was a good idea. Who really wants to know about how the rich live, love, make money and procreate? We live in a world where most of us are conditioned to be mercenary and greedy. Sometimes people watch rich people out of curiosity. But I wasn’t even that curious. What I had on my mind was my little therapy gig, my health, my energy, my shortage of time to think and write, which always pinches my heart.
It didn’t seem that Megan was very happy with her Prince. She has some courage in that she shows where it hurts and like how. I talked about her with people I know. I asked them what they thought. Some people saw her pain. Those who saw her pain, were themselves ostracized and scapegoated in their life. Those who thought she was a drama queen who pulled the race card to try and negotiate more money, were the kind of people who dominate and control others. They think that only their emotions are real and others’ emotions are fake. Im not sure if skin colour had much to do with my brief survey among people I know, but certainly how they see themselves in relation to the world was important. In terms of publicity, the recent brouhaha put the spotlight on the British Royal Family as well as all our families and politics. It was a divisive event. Perhaps Britain was embarrassed that its mercenary narcissism was called out in such colourful terms.
A brown royal who talks about miscarriage, inlaws, lack of money seems to be just the sort of person who can move the crappy magazines at the check out counter. Another tally mark for the Royal Family. They found another woman who can keep the press fed about them, so that they stay center stage as the unlovable but respectable family.
If I had a chance to talk to Megan, I’d say, if you really care about being happy rather than rich and powerful, then stop poking them. If you are looking for love, well, they didn’t love you. They can’t. They won’t. Stop looking for it. Stop looking for acceptance from them. They are trained to be mercenary narcissists who do their duty above all. The Royal Family is a corporation that like the BC Lottery plays to the fantasy of deprived people who will never matter but who hope that one day they might matter.
Your emotions, you do not matter. Your picture perfect smile matters. Your grace under pressure matters.
Your courage matters.
Your mental health or lack of it, may never matter. Watch how Obama swung it. He never showed that he felt Black while swinging those 8 years. He was so good at it, that most of us forgot he was Black.
Mercenary people are too broken to care when someone cries. In fact they will keep walking on the broken bits. I don’t know if showing just where one is broken helps change things. It creates lots of gossip. And gossip doesn’t mean that anyone is held accountable or becomes more self aware or kinder.
So, what works?
Confronting people directly works a bit better. It won’t mean that they like you or even understand you. It means boundaries. End of gossip.
Have you noticed how older people gossip a lot? One big fear I have is becoming stupid in my older years and gossiping about my relatives or friends or colleagues.
So what was different between Oprah’s breaking news interview with Megan and everyday gossip?
Nothing.
It is a bit Victorian.
Behind The Veil 