Finally, I get to be in your warm embrace

The day’s work is done.

Finally we get to talk

And I can be left alone with you.

To listen to the wild call of Spirit within me.

Finally they all left,

They all wanted a piece of me

And when I said no, they went away.

At last I am left alone with you.

How greedy the world has become

No matter what they have it is never enough

Nothing satisfies the addiction of More and Mine.

At last, at last I am with you, my beloved.

Shhh. Don’t tell them. Im sure they will want this too.

Something, anything. For free. For less. For 50% off.

Whatever I have, they must have too.

Here, take a bite, take a piece of me.

Put some salt and pepper, now you will be me.

Bit by bit, they nicked my soul,

Until the shine was lost.

But at last they have all gone.

At last, I am free to Be.

When God Betrayed Me

I hide it well, behind a kind and amiable face.

You shouldn’t love me, because you wouldn’t if you knew.

I don’t. Love me. My family doesn’t either.

If you knew, you wouldn’t.

You shouldn’t really love me.

What is inside me is quite horrible.

It is empty. Sad. Like the coronavirus. Like the pulsating sores of a leper.

Because deep down that is who I am.

No, you can’t possibly love me.

What you need is a jerk off. What I need is a release. Because sex helps stop intimacy. Once my body has been touched, my soul can never be.

You see, I can’t get close to you. I’m not you see, the type to fall in love and have a family. I’d like to get a job that challenges my brain and heart. I will get some nice clothes and a pretty house where I can be alone, with it.

My wound is fascinating. I can stare at it all day and night so that time can pass.

In this heart, there is no room for another. I’ve been violated in ways that you can never understand. First they made my soul into a vagina, then they raped me, then they told me it is my fault for not being able to love anyone.

To the world on facebook, I am so well adjusted.

But I hide, what it means to be me behind a mask that never slips.

You see, I am just like coronavirus.

I am the reason why you would suffocate and die, choking on your calcified tears.

I am at the epicentre of the world’s grief. I am the one who was raped for society to maintain its facade of dignity.

I am the one whose life was sacrificed so that others could continue to be.

My womb was sacrificed so that you could thrive.

I am the victim of your aggression and shame.

In my terrified silence lies your salvation.

You stand on my grave

And say, straight faced.

That you never did anything to kill me.

That I should have tried harder to want to live.

That I should have sacrificed my ego

And wanted to live for God, if not myself.

“Betrayed By God”. A series of poems about religious narcissism.