Hamlet dies in Horatio’s arms. Yet sometimes their voices can still be heard.

Horatio: So, what’s changed?

Everything. There is something about freedom. The terror and the ecstasy. The sheer relief of not having to fit in. Of knowing who you are, and accepting it.

Horatio: Is it lonely?

Extremely. The loneliness is like a sword right through the stomach. The kind of loneliness that Ayn Rand barely describes. It is the pain of separation, felt as if the knife is still fresh and the reed is dripping its nectar. An umbilical cord that’s still bleeding…that may never stop bleeding.

Horatio: Then why do it? why not hide in the shadows, feeding on the illusion?

Because there is no other way. It isn’t as the pain can be taken away. It is constant and continuous, no ritual, no tired old philosophy can take it away. There is no love that can put a balm on a broken limb. It hurts. What is the point of numbing? Even that is an illusion.

Horatio: What purpose does this pain give us? why did the maker give us this cross to bear? 

Perhaps because separation makes  us seek our home. Otherwise we’d never question society or life or people or my parents.

We must wear the cloak of the Hermit. The cloak is all he has between him and God, but he needs the cloak for the journey.

Horatio: Why him? since when have you given in to the Him of it all?.

Just trying it out for fun…..maybe there’s something good about being invisible. Maybe cooking and serving is noble and I just miss the whole point of a mundane activity that fails to prevent heart trouble, diabetes and all sorts of illnesses. It could be the price of love for countless civilized women and their men.

Horatio: You sound like the guy in ‘Into the Wild.’

I haven’t seen it yet. but it looks like just the kind of movie I should watch. If I had time away from wilderness.

Horatio: Are you depressed?

Found yet another box for me, Horatio? it doesn’t fit. It irks me to see tame middle aged people talk about life in a tame, polite way every day.  Do they even see each other? Who are you, I want to ask!

Horatio: They are sane, happy, motivated, wealthy, upstanding, good, courageous responsible parents.

What are you?

I am a Hobo and proud to be one.

Exactly.

Hmmm….toss me my teddy bear.

I want to watch the clouds float over an endless stream of nothingness.

Zzzz.