The Zen Circle

Last Sunday 12th April,  I had a gift party at my home as I am gifting away what I still own and don’t absolutely need to survive in this society. There is an ongoing shift happening, where people realize the extent of damage to the planet, even though media and governments may appear totally oblivious to it. Hypothetically I had a choice to be part of that shift, or not, but in truth I don’t think there was any any choice for me. It was simply a question of when.

Funny what comes up when we open a few boxes. A Chinese silk saree in turquoise blue took me to a world that surfaces like waves breaking on a sea shore. In flash back style I was transported to a time 25 years ago to a sleepy hot afternoon in Karachi. I was going over a personal selling presentation. I had chosen Books as my personal selling item. At that time Liberty Books was one of the few places where you could still get books. My boyfriend at the time read the presentation, and criticized it saying that shouldn’t just talk about the beauty or value of books but about how knowledge is a source of power. ‘Power?’ I thought to myself, from books? ‘Power is empty craving, it is a lust that eats away the soul.’ In those days I didn’t say these things, which is perhaps why I had a huge acquaintance circle, but few people understood or knew me.

I remembered how it went when I spoke about the beauty of reading books. I got an A- (even though I had worked hard on it) and I remember people were moved and excited by what I had to say. Instead of selling a gadget or a piece of garbage, I was selling ideas. It was a marketing class.  I made an A-. I looked around and saw my ‘teacher’ for a correction—this had more value than the junk that people talked about. He didn’t correct it. I learnt at that time a very important lesson. People can bow their heads 50 times a day to god. Marry for god. Die for god. But having purpose is a whole different thing. It is about following your bliss. It takes real courage and it is rare.

I had assumed beauty was important to people…not to have sex with it, own or control it but simply to appreciate it. I hadn’t yet realized that this is a big deal.That here was the suppression –the brick wall right in front of me stands unchanged–just as thick:) the only that’s changed is me. I talk about it, instead of accepting its strength, I question its foundations. For the brick wall I may be a like a mosquito, but I took heart from Dalai Lama’s words about a mosquito. My eyes tear up as I recall the Dalai Lama say in a speech recently that there may not be another Dalai Lama after his body dies. That confirmed what the Mother Earth said to me….that she is indeed dying.

It has become fashionable to quote Rumi and talk about spirituality. In this day and age, everything is for sale, even god and people have borrowed god to help promote their brand. But, the truth is to do anything they deeply feel, people need the permission of their doctor, their banker, their spouse, their boss and quite likely the government. We live in a world that’s pretty oppressed, because we have to ‘sell’ something to someone to live and to have space.

This brick wall is thick and one could stare at it one’s whole life, never daring to climb over it. One isn’t supposed to ‘enjoy’ life or work. You i.e., us work for god, family, the banks or lust for land, money and power. We aren’t supposed to work to create beauty or experience beauty in your life. If you do, then you better make good money from it, or it is not ‘good enough.’

But we still have a choice. Either work to ‘own’ nature, or co-create with nature. Either one could be part of the problem or part of the solution to the problem. I chose the latter path and that has made all the difference. Yes there is pain on the physical level–not having money creates challenges. But there is a freedom from a spiritual pain that arises from being part of the problem.

All this ran through my head when my dear friend wore that Chinese silk sari and twirled looking absolutely gorgeous with the sunshine streaming through the window.

A sense of closure, a deep peace filled my heart as I saw the golden sunshine light up the pink-gold brocade of the sari and her hair. We will have fun on the journey home. The sound of girlish laughter  reverberates in my home, even though Sunday is long over.

Life has come full circle.