Finding True Love

One of the core benefits of religion is to create faithful wives. Conditioned that they are less than men, need men, must marry to survive and cannot survive without the protection of a man, muslim women are taught how to be wives.
As wives they put the family first. As wives, they put the husband first. Sexually, they accept being used as objects for the man’s pleasure. They take almost 0 responsibility for their own sexual satisfaction or happiness or even financial empowerment. Their role is to be pretty, available, submissive and sweet.

The man has to do it all. In return he has a faithful wife who won’t stray even if she is beautiful.

I realized while studying Arabic literature–that one of the basic psychological fears in that culture is a woman who could betray the man–especially if she is beautiful and sexy. Therefore, ideally women must cover themselves from top to toe to satisfy the man’s craving to be a man.

Women become objects to help men feel more masculine. Men need to feel masculine to go fight the world and bring home the bread.

In this severe dichotomy between masculine and feminine, there is little creative possibility of a different kind of relationship. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Somebody has to be the man, and somebody has to be a woman. Even the liberal Muslims have quite a bit of this in their sub-conscious–these are the unwritten rules of marriage.

But marriage as an institution has already failed. Its kind of over, don’t you think?

You can’t stuff these issues back in the bottle and hope that things go back to the way we were when we were children. Men were men and women were women. It isn’t that simple anymore. The mask of hypocrisy doesn’t fit anymore.

So, what’s the alternative? True Love.? 🙂 yes I mean it.

The only workable alternative is spiritual development–not religious conformity but spiritual self-examination and healing. This is the only way to create a balance between the divine feminine and divine masculine.

Creating balance requires shifting the way we look at the issue of relationships between men and women. The only way to have real love, is to be empowered to be a whole person. We must be complete on our own–as individuals to be able to share a beautiful bond of love with another person. It is all about inner peace, self-love and contentment within the solitude of being an individual.

To have connection, me must embrace the disconnection that is part of all relationships. To have love from another, we must love ourselves deeply as we are. To have intimacy, we must understand that intimacy with another is possible only when we have that internal capacity ourselves. We must have a way to feel how it feels to be who we are, before we can share it with another.

Otherwise we repeat the same karmic lesson over and over again. Abandonment. Betrayal. Heartache. Mistrust. We pass it on to future generations. Our children live our pain body without even realizing that they are living our experience in their lives.

To heal to heal to heal is our only purpose on this planet. Soul healing can end our pain. As for how long it can take, maybe lifetimes, maybe years, maybe months, but this is the only way.